I am here now.  I haven't been able to remember how to get in this account.  I am still in GA which is my new home.  I look forward to hearing from you all!  Much loves!!!!  I want to see who is around before I start sharing......  Oh I am going to create a new account though.  Because I got a new email and I am making accounts with that e-mail.  I will prob do that right after posting this.  I am going to try to be RainyBeloved.....  So look for me.  I will try and remember to post the link.  Who knows.  We'll see what happens.  I would keep this one but I don't really check the e-mail it goes to very often......  will post more later

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this should get you to me on my new one...... doing a theme just isn't working so I just choose something until I figure out what is going on.

http://rainybeloved.xanga.com/

Morning

apple (80 cals prob less but hey) counts.....  0 cals                                                             

3 bites of doughnut 30 cals (the three year old again errrrr...  she didn't want to finish it and handed it to me to watch me eat)

5 swallows of coffee

16 oz water

Afternoon

4 boiled eggs 72 cals

2 bites of mac and cheese 10 cals

As of this point I am not happy at all with my intake.  It should not included even a bite of doughnut and not even the smallest noodle.

(how do i make it so it's not double space like that

16 oz water

1 small strawberry 2 cals, 1 med strawberry 4 cals, 1 large strawberry 6 cals total 12 cals, 10 blueberries 7cals, 3 cherries 12 cals.. (total would be 31 cals).......  0 cals

16 oz water

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If anyone also has a myspace let me know.  I'd love to add you on mine!!

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salad with banana peppers and pickles, ranch dressing 140 cals

10 tortilla chips 70 cals

and now here we go

4,600 mg ibuprofen which I am struggling to make myself stop

and I will finish the rest after this binge..  so far  snickers bar 250 cals and working on a hersheys symphoney 800 cals......  if i keep going i'm sure ice cream will be in the picture and maybe another snickers......  i'm planning to take maybe 30 laxitives maybe 15.....  we'll see.......  and i still want ibuprofen.

i stopped at the snicker and symphoney.....  and took 15 laxitives and anoter 400mg ibuprofen....... i don't know how i am going to stop...........

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now in all i have had 6000 mg of ibuprofen.......  and i ate a huge bowl of icecream and tons of tortilla chips and cheese dip.. i still want more ibuprofen and i'm keeping myself away from laxitives

and even with all that food i am still hungry and keep wanting to eat more...... 

now no one on here can't say i didn't fail majorly and that i'm not a failure!

  haha!!!  ok so thinspo will come i promise!!!  I'm a little distracted and the printer isn't cooperating with me.

You know what I just did the most horrible thing.  I'm saying things on the computer in a folder and keeping ones that have recovery quotes.  Which is really what I should be doing now.  Yet the thinspo I will save and take my my little account I have to save pictures in.  That's so horrible and dishonest.  I guess I don't want them to realize how intense this has got.  And besdies it's not like I never think about recovery or am anti recovery or anything like that.  I just am well yeah. 

Just something I thought was funny!!  I hope you all think it is funny too!!

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trying to eat 8 mini carmel rice cakes slowly to take up time and make sure a binge doesn't happen.  Or that I don't give in to something I know I will want to purge.  I hope this works!!